Well, I said things have changed for our family in my past post. However, I wasn't ready to blog about it. TODAY, we are! We are ready to announce to the world, that by God's wonderful grace, Nicholas and I are excitedly and anxiously awaiting the arrival of another healthy baby! We have already made it through the entire first trimester, without a peep to the internet world. Matter of fact, we just spilled to our family in the past 2 weeks as well. Many may wonder why we waited so long, but we just felt more comfortable waiting until we got to see our little one moving around on the little sonogram machine and hearing a strong beating heart! And two weeks ago, our little peanut was a wiggling like crazy on the monitor screen and his/her little heart was at a strong 185 bpm.
WOW, pure amazement and excitement to see God work that way. Many do not know that last September, I was 8 weeks pregnant and went from an ultrasound to being rushed into the ER. My pregnancy was eptopic, but not only was it outside of the uterus, it was buried into my cervix, leaving my life in severe danger if the baby continued to grow there. I went into a surgery at that point, signing away the right for the doctor to do a FULL hysterectomy. We both were saddened knowing we couldn't have more biological children, but we were already well on our way in the adoption process. So we found comfort in that. I came out of surgery and they informed us, that the only thing they had to remove was part of my cervix.
However, that particular OBGYN told my family while I was in recovery, that the likelihood of complications was very high and it was NOT in my best interest to conceive again. We continued on the adoption process and found a great desire in our hearts for this process. TRUST ME, it's still a strong burning desire...so some day we will be a family of 4 living children, possibly even five! This past March, on birth control for months, found myself pregnant again. And in April, we miscarried that baby as well.
NEVER again, in our wildest dreams, did we believe that God would bless us yet again biologically with a strong, healthy, and LIVE baby in my womb! I'm in the library now, typing this blog with tears rolling down my face. WE ARE JUST THAT BLOWN AWAY BY THE WAY OUR AWESOME GOD WORKS! Scared to death and almost afraid to even get our hopes up, we kept quiet. Honestly, neither of us ever expected to go to our ultrasound and hear a heartbeat! But, that just shows how faith the size of a mustard seed goes a LONG LONG way and we will be blessed.
The very same day, that we found out the status of our baby, our phone rang for the adoption! The phone call was for a set of twins, 21 one months. WHAT? That'd be 4 babies, under the age of 2; fine children under the age of 4. WOW God, REALLY??? You want me to do what? I questioned Him like crazy! Can we really handle that? And that's when He said, "Nicholas, Valerie....when will you learn?? Your life story is already written." So what right do we have to question that? So yes, our family is on the list for 21 month old twins as well. Our family may NOT make it into the next round of possible matches...but if we do, BOY OH BOY, we better be ready!! God has so much planned for us and we are beyond excited to see what our next chapter is! But, let's just say....our journey is about to get very exciting...and we COULD NOT BE HAPPIER!! Our family is growing for sure by one come the end of March! And possibly will nearly double in size by that time! GOD IS GOOD!!!
Please keep us in your prayers...our life story just added a very exciting chapter or two! We are still very fearful with this pregnancy, but God is our author so we know it's all going to work to His Glory!!
And more of the details...right now, it appears my scheduled c-section will be March 29 or April 5th. The doctor was more than blown away when he asked us how our families reacted when we told them and we said, "well we haven't yet". He said with a comfortable voice, "I think now it's okay to spill the news, things look great!" And I'm officially in my 2nd trimester, still sick and vomiting daily, but I AM SO BLESSED by every wave of sickness and sign of a healthy pregnancy!! Praying for a HEALTHY baby and really have no desire either way as far as gender, just so thankful for another chance to feel little jabs in my womb!!
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
imperfect blog
I've once again failed at the mommy blogging world. Life has become silent for a moment and I took a moment to take it all in. We are officially done teaching Sunday school for the summer, family outtings are coming to an end, everything seems to be slowing down. Normally I would absolutely hate that, hate the stillness, and hate the quietness. I admit: I ENJOY IT!
I never forgot to blog. I just didn't feel I had anything worthy of blogging about. Majority of the blogs I read are from moms who have it ALL together, cook 3 wonderful meals a day;7 days a week, their house seems to be spotless, and their kids seem to always look like Mini Boden/Gap models without a hair outta place, always dressed adorable and 100% well mannered! That is NOT my house or my life, so is my blog really worth reading?
Things have changed so much in our family since I last posted, but one thing that hasnt changed is our heart for adoption. I often find myself wondering why such a desire was placed in my heart. I get frustrated. I need to take "mommy time outs" way more than I'd like to. So what makes me think that I can handle 2-5 more children? What makes me think that I am capable of being someone else's mommy yet too? I can't help but to ask myself all these questions...and I'm reminded, "who cares if my house isn't perfect in order or that my kids hair gets messy and their clothes get dirty?" I can put what I want into writing on a blog and more than likely that's just what all us blogging mommies do. God gave me a gift with children. He blessed me beyond measures as a mommy. And I OWE MY LIFE to Him. He placed that desire in our hearts for a reason and we need to follow through. He placed a love in our hearts for our children, biological and adopted. So what right do I have to feel like maybe I'm not capable. There are children out there in huge need a love and the desire placed in their hearts is for a mommy and daddy to love them. WE CAN DO THAT! And that's what God is calling us to do!
There's days where I try to channel my inner Michelle Dugger and can't seem to find her, but then there's days where I'm menu planning, couponing, cleaning every nook and cranny, and my kids are being taught some of life's most important messages. My kids throw fits and huge tantrums. I just had our youngest to the doctor because for a moment we thought she was possessed, literally. It was horrible. Both of us were in tears at night because we just couldnt figure it out. She was hit with a terrible terrible case of night terrors. The doctor said, when she's "acting out" like she was, that she doesnt even recognize us as her parents but that she also doesnt remember them in the morning. It was one of the scariest things we've ever seen. But along with all those fits, our kids laugh, giggle, and explore. They makae us smile, they make us laugh and they are our world.
All this being said, my blog may be failing because I stop blogging for weeks, I don't have it all together, and my house is messy.
I never forgot to blog. I just didn't feel I had anything worthy of blogging about. Majority of the blogs I read are from moms who have it ALL together, cook 3 wonderful meals a day;7 days a week, their house seems to be spotless, and their kids seem to always look like Mini Boden/Gap models without a hair outta place, always dressed adorable and 100% well mannered! That is NOT my house or my life, so is my blog really worth reading?
Things have changed so much in our family since I last posted, but one thing that hasnt changed is our heart for adoption. I often find myself wondering why such a desire was placed in my heart. I get frustrated. I need to take "mommy time outs" way more than I'd like to. So what makes me think that I can handle 2-5 more children? What makes me think that I am capable of being someone else's mommy yet too? I can't help but to ask myself all these questions...and I'm reminded, "who cares if my house isn't perfect in order or that my kids hair gets messy and their clothes get dirty?" I can put what I want into writing on a blog and more than likely that's just what all us blogging mommies do. God gave me a gift with children. He blessed me beyond measures as a mommy. And I OWE MY LIFE to Him. He placed that desire in our hearts for a reason and we need to follow through. He placed a love in our hearts for our children, biological and adopted. So what right do I have to feel like maybe I'm not capable. There are children out there in huge need a love and the desire placed in their hearts is for a mommy and daddy to love them. WE CAN DO THAT! And that's what God is calling us to do!
There's days where I try to channel my inner Michelle Dugger and can't seem to find her, but then there's days where I'm menu planning, couponing, cleaning every nook and cranny, and my kids are being taught some of life's most important messages. My kids throw fits and huge tantrums. I just had our youngest to the doctor because for a moment we thought she was possessed, literally. It was horrible. Both of us were in tears at night because we just couldnt figure it out. She was hit with a terrible terrible case of night terrors. The doctor said, when she's "acting out" like she was, that she doesnt even recognize us as her parents but that she also doesnt remember them in the morning. It was one of the scariest things we've ever seen. But along with all those fits, our kids laugh, giggle, and explore. They makae us smile, they make us laugh and they are our world.
All this being said, my blog may be failing because I stop blogging for weeks, I don't have it all together, and my house is messy.
BUT...
My heart remains.
The desire is still in place.
AND....
GOD CHOSE US.
GOD CHOSE US.
Like I said, some things have changed in our family, but...we are still chugging towards the financial part of bringing home our babies! For my faithful blog readers, which I think there are far few inbetween, there's going to be some exciting news coming to our blog soon I hope!!
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