I never forgot to blog. I just didn't feel I had anything worthy of blogging about. Majority of the blogs I read are from moms who have it ALL together, cook 3 wonderful meals a day;7 days a week, their house seems to be spotless, and their kids seem to always look like Mini Boden/Gap models without a hair outta place, always dressed adorable and 100% well mannered! That is NOT my house or my life, so is my blog really worth reading?
Things have changed so much in our family since I last posted, but one thing that hasnt changed is our heart for adoption. I often find myself wondering why such a desire was placed in my heart. I get frustrated. I need to take "mommy time outs" way more than I'd like to. So what makes me think that I can handle 2-5 more children? What makes me think that I am capable of being someone else's mommy yet too? I can't help but to ask myself all these questions...and I'm reminded, "who cares if my house isn't perfect in order or that my kids hair gets messy and their clothes get dirty?" I can put what I want into writing on a blog and more than likely that's just what all us blogging mommies do. God gave me a gift with children. He blessed me beyond measures as a mommy. And I OWE MY LIFE to Him. He placed that desire in our hearts for a reason and we need to follow through. He placed a love in our hearts for our children, biological and adopted. So what right do I have to feel like maybe I'm not capable. There are children out there in huge need a love and the desire placed in their hearts is for a mommy and daddy to love them. WE CAN DO THAT! And that's what God is calling us to do!
There's days where I try to channel my inner Michelle Dugger and can't seem to find her, but then there's days where I'm menu planning, couponing, cleaning every nook and cranny, and my kids are being taught some of life's most important messages. My kids throw fits and huge tantrums. I just had our youngest to the doctor because for a moment we thought she was possessed, literally. It was horrible. Both of us were in tears at night because we just couldnt figure it out. She was hit with a terrible terrible case of night terrors. The doctor said, when she's "acting out" like she was, that she doesnt even recognize us as her parents but that she also doesnt remember them in the morning. It was one of the scariest things we've ever seen. But along with all those fits, our kids laugh, giggle, and explore. They makae us smile, they make us laugh and they are our world.
All this being said, my blog may be failing because I stop blogging for weeks, I don't have it all together, and my house is messy.
BUT...
My heart remains.
The desire is still in place.
AND....
GOD CHOSE US.
GOD CHOSE US.
Like I said, some things have changed in our family, but...we are still chugging towards the financial part of bringing home our babies! For my faithful blog readers, which I think there are far few inbetween, there's going to be some exciting news coming to our blog soon I hope!!
Hey, Val...I've learned the hard way not to compare what I blog to others. It will make.you.nuts. Plus, there is always traffic, just not everyone comments. Night terrors...been there, done that. I was so sleep deprived I didn't realize what it was until weeks later. She finally stopped having them but you are correct, it is terrifying! Hang in there...I really feel for ya!
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