There's this girl....

So there's this girl, she was much younger than me in church growing up and God used her to speak to me today!  We aren't facebook friends, no particular reason why not, but just because we aren't. Our paths haven't really ever crossed because of the age difference and being in a large church... sad, but it's true!  I didn't know everyone well at our church back then. 
Just so happens today, a friend of hers and a facebook friend of mine, liked one of her statuses.  And it showed up on my facebook newsfeed.  I skipped over it a few times because it didnt really mean much to me that she liked her status.  But something pulled me in AND THIS IS WHAT IT READ...

A God-given dream or vision does not necessarily mean immediate action. Sometimes the most difficult thing to do is wait. Paul tells us in Philippians 2:13 that "it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His purpose." God places desires in our hearts for a beautiful purpose. Waiting for God to move us can lead us to His greatest blessings and plans for our lives.

This is exactly what I talked about in the last blog post.  I have such a big desire and heart for this and it was breaking my heart in a million pieces to have to say put us on hold for now.  Made me really wonder, "why?  Why is my heart soooo open to this and it's just not falling into place?"  And this reminded me, God IS still speaking to us.  He still is leading us to His will, we just have to be patient.  When it is our turn we will be rewarded more than I can even imagine! 
Looking at pictures today on facebook of another area couple who just returned home with their babies, gets me even more anxious, more hurt, more ready and even more willing to say "YES LORD!"  Ashalyn was looking with me and she says "Mom, when can we get a brother or sister from there?" It's like her heart is growing too!  God is preparing ALL of us for this! 
Nicholas is the step person.  He sees all the steps that need to be taken to get where we are going and he is working so hard to get us there!  Extra money through an extra job.  Tips at work go straight to a bill.  And we sat down together last night figuring what all needs taken care of to get to that point!  I'm more of a jump in and get there fast person!  Which is not right in this situation.  It makes it sooo tough...but thank you Jesus for using this much younger and much wiser girl to speak to me today!
You never cease to amaze me!

Life throws curveballs...

If there is one thing I've learned

in this game of Life...

Is that just when you think you are on the correct path

a curve ball is thrown

to you!

 

You have three ways you can handle it...

 

You can stand there and just watch it pass to the catchers glove

 

... 

 

You can begin your swing and pull back and hope the umpire calls for a ball

 

Or... 

 

You can keep your eye on the ball and give your best swing and hope you can time out the swing just right. 

 

 

It was back in May when Justin Verlander, my Tiger, came back from a pitching slump.  He used his curve ball to do it.  I believe it was against the Pirates and he had them all on their feet. 

 

I'm kind of in a JV slump.  I love my girls.  I'd give the world for them.  They know I would. I am enjoying every minute with them and boy oh boy are they growing up fast!  That's where the problem lies.  They are growing WAY TOO fast.

Our family is continuing to grow...

It is NOT complete. 

And you know how I know that???

Because my heart is continuing to grow. 

My love for children all across the world is growing larger and larger. 

With every night time prayer for our girls, my prayers turn to God's children

clear across the world.  I hug my kids, I pray for my kids and we stop along the road at the sight of a wildflower!  I hop out of the car to pick one for each of the girls in the back seat.

Each flower I hand out, my heart grows even bigger.

I desire to grow my family biologically one more time...

AND...

I long to jump through hoops and over hurdles...

and then...

to fly over the longest sea

ALL TO BRING HOME ONE MORE BABY!

And...

After that...

If God says to go around the world...

I desire and long to Go Around The World. 

 

And that My friends,

That is where my curve ball begins...

My heart,

My calling, 

My willingness,

and

My love for those children.

 

There is a financial barrier right now.  So I question my heart.  I question if I am hearing God's call.  Each time I question I am reminded of the verse on the back of my van.  "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you!"  We had to make a difficult call this past week.  It breaks my heart and I literally feel it shatter everytime I think about it.  Tears are rolling down my face right now actually.  We made the call with our agency to place everything on hold for the time being, til we can become 100% debt free.  So financially we can bury any and all barriers between us and the children of the world God calls us to welcome into our family. 

100% debt free???

Makes me want to scream just thinkin' about it.
We've changed our lifestyle over a year ago and have tackled a huge amount...

all while trying to fund our adoption.

And it just seemed like we weren't getting anywhere with either of them.

 

So the decision we made this past week, was to plug away at our debts 100% and then once we are financially free...we are going to open up our hearts and say,

"USE US LORD!" 

 

 

As painful as it is...

And as often as I feel like we are just picking up broken pieces of our hearts...

I know that this is the best way we can handle the curve. 

PTL, our house is fully paid... we found a great deal, when the market was down

and were able to pay that off quick.  But there's college and medical still standing between us. 

So I give us 3-4 years (sooner Lord willing) and then

WATCH OUT WORLD! 
We are on God's side and I KNOW,

100% without a doubt...
That His plans for Nicholas, Ashalyn, Kynzie, Myleigh and myself are
HUGE!!!

 

I'm going to keep blogging on our journey.  To our followers...you can pray with us.  Pray that we can stay in our full forward swing, stay on track and keep focused on God's future plans for our family.  Who knows, maybe in the time of our financial detox, maybe God has plans for another bio-baby.  However, God wants to use us in these few years we are open to it.
But if He just wants us to relax and just enjoy his peacefulness

before our family takes a crazy ride, then that's what we will do, my friends! 

 

Our family journey has not come to a hault...

we just have to detour a bit to make it more realistic!