Sunday, September 15, 2013

Life throws curveballs...

If there is one thing I've learned
in this game of Life...
Is that just when you think you are on the correct path
a curve ball is thrown
to you!
 
You have three ways you can handle it...
 
You can stand there and just watch it pass to the catchers glove
 
... 
 
You can begin your swing and pull back and hope the umpire calls for a ball
 
Or... 
 
You can keep your eye on the ball and give your best swing and hope you can time out the swing just right. 
 
 
It was back in May when Justin Verlander, my Tiger, came back from a pitching slump.  He used his curve ball to do it.  I believe it was against the Pirates and he had them all on their feet. 
 
I'm kind of in a JV slump.  I love my girls.  I'd give the world for them.  They know I would. I am enjoying every minute with them and boy oh boy are they growing up fast!  That's where the problem lies.  They are growing WAY TOO fast.
Our family is continuing to grow...
It is NOT complete. 
And you know how I know that???
Because my heart is continuing to grow. 
My love for children all across the world is growing larger and larger. 
With every night time prayer for our girls, my prayers turn to God's children
clear across the world.  I hug my kids, I pray for my kids and we stop along the road at the sight of a wildflower!  I hop out of the car to pick one for each of the girls in the back seat.
Each flower I hand out, my heart grows even bigger.
I desire to grow my family biologically one more time...
AND...
I long to jump through hoops and over hurdles...
and then...
to fly over the longest sea
ALL TO BRING HOME ONE MORE BABY!

And...
After that...
If God says to go around the world...
I desire and long to Go Around The World. 
 
And that My friends,
That is where my curve ball begins...
My heart,
My calling, 
My willingness,
and
My love for those children.
 
There is a financial barrier right now.  So I question my heart.  I question if I am hearing God's call.  Each time I question I am reminded of the verse on the back of my van.  "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you!"  We had to make a difficult call this past week.  It breaks my heart and I literally feel it shatter everytime I think about it.  Tears are rolling down my face right now actually.  We made the call with our agency to place everything on hold for the time being, til we can become 100% debt free.  So financially we can bury any and all barriers between us and the children of the world God calls us to welcome into our family. 
100% debt free???
Makes me want to scream just thinkin' about it.
We've changed our lifestyle over a year ago and have tackled a huge amount...
all while trying to fund our adoption.
And it just seemed like we weren't getting anywhere with either of them.
 
So the decision we made this past week, was to plug away at our debts 100% and then once we are financially free...we are going to open up our hearts and say,

"USE US LORD!" 
 
 
As painful as it is...
And as often as I feel like we are just picking up broken pieces of our hearts...
I know that this is the best way we can handle the curve. 
PTL, our house is fully paid... we found a great deal, when the market was down
and were able to pay that off quick.  But there's college and medical still standing between us. 
So I give us 3-4 years (sooner Lord willing) and then

WATCH OUT WORLD! 
We are on God's side and I KNOW,
100% without a doubt...
That His plans for Nicholas, Ashalyn, Kynzie, Myleigh and myself are
HUGE!!!
 
I'm going to keep blogging on our journey.  To our followers...you can pray with us.  Pray that we can stay in our full forward swing, stay on track and keep focused on God's future plans for our family.  Who knows, maybe in the time of our financial detox, maybe God has plans for another bio-baby.  However, God wants to use us in these few years we are open to it.
But if He just wants us to relax and just enjoy his peacefulness
before our family takes a crazy ride, then that's what we will do, my friends! 
 
Our family journey has not come to a hault...
we just have to detour a bit to make it more realistic!

 
 
 

No comments:

Post a Comment