So I'm realizing that at this moment there isnt a whole lot of exciting things happening as far as the adoption process. This weekend my mom and dad are coming down so dad and Nick are going to be tearing out a wall in a bedroom to make a bigger room so it's ready when the time comes. And the following weekend our caseworker is coming out for our final vist! Then we are homestudy ready!! WOOT WOOT!!!
With that being said, this post isnt really about our adoption process...but in a sense it could be. If any one followed my previous blog at all you would know that our family's story is one of tragedy. A tragedy that brought us to sooo many positives in our life. Tonight, just as I was getting ready to think about hopping in the shower my computer made that sound of someone trying to get ahold of me on facebook. First I thought, "ahh...it's probably nothing! I'll hop on when I get out."
Soemthing told me to just go check anyways. Got there and devastating news. An old church youth group friend. She went off to college a year before I did, so we grew miles apart. But she says to me, "Valerie, a friend of mne just lost her baby 2 weeks before her due date. How can our small group be there for her?"
My heart suddenly hurt. I couldn't specifically answer that question for what she would need over the next few days, weeks or months. But I could share what helped me. One thing I've realized is that everyone needs different things in these situations. After our conversation finished, I continued on to my shower...but with a much sadder and heavier heart than if I would of gotten in when I originally planned. My heart hurt for this mother and father. I cannot pretend to know exactly what they are feeling at this exact moment...but I do know all the pain that lies ahead.
I hopped in the shower and as I started to shave my legs I had that nudge. Tears rolled down my face and I had to pray. Prayers for this family and prayers for the birth mother of the baby God chooses to allow us to be their adoptive family. A million thank yous are not enough and we will be ever so grateful to her. Tonight I was reminded that not only today should I be keeping her in my prayers, but today and every day forward. I have never walked in a birth mother's shoes. But I guess that she will ALWAYS think of her baby. There's not a day that goes by that I do not think of our sweet Miranda. There's days that are harder than others. And often I see children that would be her age and I wonder what she would of looked like or what she'd be doing now. And I guess the same goes for a birth mother that chooses to place her baby/babies.
So, all while in the shower and with the facebook conversation I had prior I was reminded of how often I will need to pray after the finalization of our adoption. I pray for a peace and comfort in knowing her baby is being taken care of to the best of our ability. I pray that she knows her baby will always be her baby and I know without a doubt that if they aren't ever reunited over the years that in Heaven they will be! I pray that if she ever chooses to want to see pictures that we are reminded of what it would mean to us to see a picture of what Miranda would look like. I pray that we will ALWAYS have an open heart to be able to share with her the things she wants to know. And I pray that when she has tough days that God gives her the comfort that she needs.
We havent met her yet and maybe we never will. But I will ALWAYS love her! And we will be ever so appreciative of her!!
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